David Suchet and Charles Dance square up to each other in Going Postal, the latest Terry Pratchett Discworld adaptation to make it to the small screen

David, you look very devilish in Going Postal.
David Suchet: Yes, we’re only missing one thing from the book. I think we got the eye patch right, we got the hair right, we’ve got the clothes — but in the book I have a parrot because he wrote Reacher Guilt as a pirate. It’s a great take on that look — Johnny Depp eat your heart out! For me it’s unbelievable to be seen like that, having such fun being evil.

Charles, Terry said that he was very happy with your portrayal of Lord Vetinari, but he also said that he could imagine other actors tackling the role.
Charles Dance: He gives with one hand and takes with another.

Do you feel any pressure from Terry Pratchett fans to get your role right?
Charles Dance: No. It’s very nice for Terry Pratchett and for us that there are so many fans of the piece, but you can’t please all of the people all of the time. I believe Jeremy Irons played Lord Vetinari before, so there’s probably a whole legion of fans who mourn the fact that Jeremy Irons isn’t doing this one. I’m cheaper probably.

Do you both have experiences with fans?
David Suchet: I didn’t realise how many fans of Poirot there were in Budapest [where Going Postal was filmed]. I would come down in the morning and there would be queues of people wanting Poirot autographs — people are buying boxed sets in Budapest! I was so surprised.
Charles Dance: There’s a wonderful website called Charlie’s Angels, which is run by these wonderful women. They all meet up from time to time, I’ve become a kind of catalyst for them but it’s nothing to do with me. I’ve met Mary, the woman who started it, and her long-suffering husband Paul, a few times. She’s terrific, she runs a very tight ship.

The two of you were in the final scene of Going Postal with Terry Pratchett weren’t you?
David Suchet: He comes in to deliver a letter to me, by which time I’ve gone through ‘that’ door. So yes we do, but we’re never in it together, unfortunately.

Does Terry Pratchett get the last word?
Charles Dance: Indeed he does.

Terry said it took him six takes to get it right.
Charles Dance: [laughs] At least, if I remember.

Lord Vetinari sets in motion the whole adventure of Going Postal because his game of Thud keeps being interrupted by the Clacks going down. Does the game actually exist?
Charles Dance: I’ve got it — it was sent to me. Don’t ask me how to play it. A package arrived with a hexagonal board and a box of pieces. It’s rather like chess and all the rules are in a book that’s about one inch thick. It’s sitting at home on the table, looking like I play Thud all the time.

Going Postal has fantastic production values. What do you both look for in a role these days?
David Suchet: A good script. I don’t want to do bad scripts anymore. The size of the role. The cliché that there are no small roles, there are only small actors, that doesn’t apply actually. And as often as I can I like to be different. I’m a character man. I’m not interested in playing me, I love playing different people.
Charles Dance: Anything that’s well written that I haven’t done before. The more against type the better. We’re all victims of what we look like — you are what you are seen to be. I said to the director Robert Altman when I was doing Gosford Park, ‘I should be downstairs not upstairs!’ And he said, ‘No, the way you look Charles you’re not going to be downstairs’. But that’s where I come from. My mother was an underhouse parlour maid but I never get asked to do stuff like that.